My husband is a coach. Over the years, I have watched him bring up all sorts of teams. He has coached both baseball and girls basketball. The thing I admire most about my husband's coaching, is that he really cares for every one of his team members. He often says that coaching isn't about winning or losing a game, it's about building up kids; getting them to come together, trusting in each other and themselves. Once they do that, the wins will come. I have seen him do this with teams several times. Just last year, he took a job coaching for a high school girls basketball team that had a severe lack of confidence in themselves and their teammates. It took a lot of emotional work for my hubby to get the girls to believe in themselves. By the end of the season, he took a team that was ranked in last place(8) in their district to #4, earning a place in the regional tournament. A girls program that hadn't been to regionals in 11 years!
As a father of 6, he knows the importance of building up kids. That is what he is great at! One of the reasons he took the coaching job last year was to help build confidence in our 14 year old daughter. She loves basketball, but was low in the "believe in yourself" department. During her 6th grade basketball season, she wasn't given an opportunity to grow as a player and was often benched if she made a mistake. The year she spent in the new school was a success for her, she began to really believe in herself both on and off the court. Most parents wouldn't move to a different town and take on added expenses in order to build up their child! But my hubby is different, and that is why I love him so much.
I have watched a ton of baseball and basketball games over the years and have seen all sorts of coaching styles in competitor's programs. Some great and some really bad. Recently, I was at a girls basketball game and heard a coach yell out to a player something that tore my heart out. The coach told her, " I told you not to shoot," and then proceeded to rant that "Her shooting average is terrible". Not only do those comments affect the confidence of the player but it goes into the heart of every one of her teammates.
My hubby moved to a new program this year and is in the process of rebuilding a team that was told "Don't Shoot". It is not only difficult to teach them how to shoot a basketball at the age they are, but it is also a process to build up their confidence in themselves and each other. His new team hasn't won many games so far this year, but they are coming together as a team and making great progress. He doesn't care if they make mistakes on the court or shoot the ball and miss, he tells them that! He wants them to grow in experience as players and as people. Too build a confidence in themselves that reaches off the court as well.
Coaches need to realize the affect they have on the kids they are working with. Even as parents, we need to allow our kids the chance to make their mistakes and learn from them. Let kids Shoot For The Stars and make sure to be there for them when they succeed and when they don't!
